Chuckles
London, GB
•jrpennAwards
Frequently asked questions
Can't find the answer you're looking for? Reach out to our team.
- Q: So… how do I order a pair of Chuckles' cursed kicks?
- A: First, submit a Brief of the Damned™. This includes: Your desired size (UK/US/EU – human feet only, no hooves). A theme or concept (e.g. “Circus of Carnage,” “Laughing in the Morgue,” or “My Ex’s Worst Nightmare”). Preferred colors, motifs, or phobias. Blood red is free. Real blood costs extra. Any name, phrase, or final words you want stitched in.
- Q: What if I don’t know what I want?
- A: Chuckles will consult the Voices Inside. Just say “Surprise Me” in your brief and you’ll get what you deserve. No refunds.
- Q: How long does it take?
- A: Every pair is hand-customized in Chuckles' shadowy lair. Expect 2–4 weeks depending on complexity, lunar cycles, and police investigations.
- Q: Are the sneakers wearable… like, in public?
- A: Yes. They’re functional, durable, and designed to survive rain, fire, and inconvenient resurrections. But don’t be surprised if people cross the street when they see you.
- Q: What’s the price?
- A: Prices start at £180 for basic nightmares, with add-ons for custom gore, glow-in-the-dark screams, and extra sole-stitched souls. Payment accepted via card, crypto, or cursed artifacts.
- Q: Will Chuckles replicate copyrighted characters?
- A: Chuckles doesn’t play well with lawsuits. Parody is fine. Direct rip-offs result in him sending something else to your house.
- Q: Can I return them?
- A: Once you've walked a mile in these shoes, they're yours forever. Literally. They may not come off.
- Q: Is this a joke?
- A: Only if your sense of humor survived childhood trauma. These are art pieces disguised as footwear, made by a clown who laughs when you scream.